Rantle

(Given the day before the wedding of Kari and Jim, August 1, 1998)

For two reasons, I want to begin by asking you to join me in a toast to Jim’s mother, Anne Stewartson. First, because Anne is our hostess for this wonderful Rehearsal Dinner. And second, because Anne possessed the genetic wherewithal to produce such a great son as our Jim. I ask you to join me in a toast to Anne Stewartson.

I turn now to Kari’s mother, and my wife, Sidsel Anschutz. Sidsel warrants this toast not only because she has produced this fabulous daughter of ours, but because she had the good sense some 30 plus years ago to pick me to play a small and altogether pleasant but nontheless important role in Kari’s creation. I ask you to join me in a toast to Sidsel Kari Anschutz.

We go now to our religious leader, the Reverend Steve Bindeman. I ask you to join me in a toast to Steve, not only because he combines in a single person the inspiring qualities and moral authority of Pope John Paul, Reverend Billy Graham and Bishop Desmond Tutu, but also because Steve has been empowered by the great State of Nevada to bring our two young lovers together, tomorrow, in Holy Matrimony. I propose a toast to the Reverend, Steve Bindeman.

And now, we turn to our Kari. Sidsel and I received, a few days before coming to California, an email message from Kari, signed KMA, which stands for Kari Mimi Anschutz. Attached to the KMA initials, was a winsome parenthetical statement: “probably the last time I’ll ever be able to use those initials.” Kari has been wrestling for some time now with a decision, whether or not to take the surname Stewartson, thereby giving up the simple, easily understood, easily spelled surname Anschutz. Last I heard, she had decided to compromise, to have the best of both worlds, and will, starting tomorrow, be known as Kari Anschutz Stewartson, to whom I now propose a toast!

Lastly, we turn to my soon to become son-in-law, James Arthur Stewartson. Chris and Eric Sindre developed a computer program to figure out what impact Jim’s entry into our family will have on our vital statistics. Here are the results: our average height will increase by 1.3 inches. Our average weight will decrease by 14.7 pounds. And our average IQ will now be so high that our computer crashed when it tried to compute the number! I ask you to join me in a toast to Jim Stewartson.